Jul 28, 2007

of all the disclaimers

Tax titan H&R Block, not wanting to dash any hopes, warns us that the past tense declarative statement "I got people" is "not an offer of employment."

Imagine the lawyerly hypothetical that conjured up the disclaimer. Joe / Josephine Net Surfer sees the ad, and thinks, If she says she 'got people,' then maybe she's looking for more. Hey, I'm people, and I could use a job. Also, I am the world's only functionally illiterate accountant.

For further clarity, I suggest that H&R Block add the following disclaimers.

*Not an endorsement of Mafia tactics
*Not a joke
*Not a recipe for a lip-smacking bouillabaisse
*Not a guarantee of dream fulfillment
*Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

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