Feb 21, 2007

how to be sure your guy is The Guy

MSN Dating and Personals has the rundown, but they're way, way off. Here are five surefire ways to tell that your soulmate has arrived.

1. He can turn any embarrassment into a compliment.
You're choking, and he notes the rosy tincture of your cheeks. You leave a fleck of mousse on your chin, and he notes the lovely beauty mark adorning your visage. You stab him with a chopstick, and he praises the strength of your forearms. He is either The One, or on drugs. See if his eyes are bloodshot to be certain. (Ah, but of which one, you ask?)

2. He carries a journal.
Face it: you want to be someone's--anyone's--Muse. Yours will be the face that launched a thousand haiku.

3. He smiles when you talk.
You will have to learn how to distinguish smiling from grimacing. It would be well worth your time.

4. He sings, whistles, or hums when no one's watching.
This is definitely a good sign, you think to yourself, as you watch from around the corner while "powdering your nose." Why are you watching? Oh, right: you are desperate and stalkerlike.

5. He holds the door.
Think this is sexist? No you don't. You believe in soulmates. How antiquarian can you get?

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