sip to your heart's delight

I love coffee, and since discovering the robust goodness of Batdorf and Bronson's decaffeinated pleasure, I imbibe in nearly guilt-free circumstances every other day or so. (It's expensive, that's why.)

NewScientist's recent article on the demon drink (sorry, subscribers only) mostly makes good sense, swatting away some of the myths surrounding the nectar of the gods. No, coffee doesn't raise blood pressure, at least not in regular users. No, coffee won't cause cancer. No, coffee won't steal your innocence and throw your heart in the trash. The only real risk, it seems, is a greater incidence of bone fractures among those tippling four or more cups per diem.

But tucked away in an otherwise unobjectionable "science update" is a curious little section about caffeine's allure.

... [S]ure, caffeine is a habit-forming stimulant, but nobody abuses it. Take too much and you feel jittery and anxious rather than getting high. And nobody ever got mugged by a caffeine junkie. "An addictive drug is something you commit a crime for," says Manfred Kroger, a professor emeritus at Pennsylvania State University and spokesman for the Institute of Food Technologists.

Caffeine researcher Lawrence Armstrong, an exercise physiologist at the University of Connecticut in Storrs, agrees. "Caffeine is a substance of dependence, not a drug of addiction," he says. "The words 'drug' and 'addiction' are powerfully emotive. Nobody robs banks or commits murder for caffeine."

Maybe they would, if caffeine were prohibited and cost $500 per cup, turning preps into anarchists and law-abiding mothers into mobsters.

Coffee: enjoy it while you still can.